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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245546">Third Attempt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASimpleCherryTree/pseuds/ASimpleCherryTree'>ASimpleCherryTree</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reboots Babey [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Good Place (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt #3, Chidi has a crisis, F/M, What is the line between teen and mature?, obviously, when is he not</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:09:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASimpleCherryTree/pseuds/ASimpleCherryTree</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The third attempt at torturing the four humans</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Attempt 3 Soulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Reboots Babey [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m going to try to write every single reboot (with the exception of 1, 2, 119, and 802) up to the end without giving up! Wish me luck!</p><p>To recap; Attempt #1: Original attempt<br/>Attempt #2: Eleanor has the note from Janet, Chidi has two soulmates, Tahani goes crazy<br/>Attempt #119: Eleanor and Chidi fall in love<br/>Attempt #802: Final reboot, working against Vicky</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hi, Eleanor. I’m Michael. Come on in.” I looked up from the couch. My mind was fuzzy like I didn’t know where I was, but that it didn’t matter that I didn’t know where I was. I felt like I had been asleep for months and woke up in a hospital; you don’t know how you got there, but it doesn’t really matter.</p><p>I sat down in the armchair in front of Michael’s desk.</p><p>“You, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead.”</p><p>“Cool.” I wasn’t a religious person, but I wasn’t an atheist either. I spent life living and left the afterlife alone. But here it is, the afterlife. I hope all of the pamphlets were wrong, and that my soul didn’t need to be saved. “Who was right?”</p><p>“Well, everyone, a little bit,” Michael said. “Every single religion guessed about five percent. Except for Doug Forcett.” He pointed at a picture on the wall. I could recognize a stoner face from miles away.</p><p>“Doug Forcett?”</p><p>“A stoner kid from Calgary. His friend, Randy, asked him about his thoughts about the afterlife and he launched into a monologue, guessing about 94%. I’m very lucky to have that picture.”</p><p>“Okay,” I said. “So am I up there or?”</p><p>“Oh, this isn’t a Heaven or Hell situation, but typically there is a Good Place and a Bad Place.” That doesn’t answer my question. I’d like to think that I was a good person. I never murdered anyone, and I’m not racist or anything.</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“You’re in the Good Place, Eleanor.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Let me show you around the neighborhood.”</p><p> </p><p>“This is your soulmate,” Michael said after showing me my memories. I plastered on a smile. I know that I forgot how I died, but I wouldn’t have forgotten being an environmentalist. The day before I died I was berating the environmentalist at the grocery store.</p><p>“Hi, I’m Chris Baker.”</p><p>“I’m Eleanor,” I said. “So, what did you do with your life?”</p><p>“I was a mailman,” he said. “But I spent a lot of my free time raising money for the girl on my route with stage four lung cancer. Little did I know that she would outlive me.”</p><p>“That’s very kind of you,” I said. “Dedicating your life to a girl you barely knew? That’s heroic.”</p><p>“Yeah, but everyone here is heroic,” he said. “We’re the one in a million. I doubt I’m better than anyone else here.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s very charitable.”</p><p>“What did you do that got you to the Good Place?” he asked. I looked over at the screen that was floating on the wall and over to the door that Michael had just walked out of.</p><p>“You’ll stick by me no matter what, right?”</p><p>“Of course, but I just remembered that I need to go to the gym. Maybe we’ll have this chat tomorrow?”</p><p>What would you need to go to the gym for in Heaven? It felt weird that he said that like it was an appointment, even though we had both arrived here at the same time.</p><p>“Jojo?” I yelled. “Julienne? Justine? Oh! Janet?” Janet appeared behind me.</p><p>“What can I help you with?”</p><p>“So, Michael told me that I’m the number one point-getter,” I said. “What exactly does that mean?”</p><p>“Your time on Earth was spent earning points for the Good Place, just like we showed you in the orientation video. Your point total was higher than everyone else in the neighborhood.”</p><p>“So, I’m the best person?”</p><p>“That is correct.” I looked up at Janet. She’s so human, but she isn’t at the same time. It’s kind of creepy.</p><p>“Is there anyone in the neighborhood that could help me be even better?” I asked. “Like, if I think that I wasn’t the best person.”</p><p>“We do have a professor of Moral Philosophy in our neighborhood,” Janet said with a human cheeriness in her voice. “His name is Chidi Anagonye, I can show you to him if you want?”</p><p>“That would be fantastic, Jocelyn?”</p><p>“Janet.” She led me to the egg salad shop where a guy in a sweater vest and thick glasses was sitting out front. He definitely looked like a professor of good people and big words and whatever.</p><p>He looked up when he saw Janet and me standing there. “Hello, Janet, who is this?”</p><p>“I’m Eleanor Shellstrop,” I said. “Are you Cheesy?”</p><p>“Chidi,” he said. “Chidi Anagonye.”</p><p>“Great. And you’re a professor of good people?”</p><p>“I was a professor of moral philosophy, so yes.”</p><p>“Can we talk?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eleanor and Chidi figure out the best course of action given their situation</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Let me get this straight,” Chidi said. “You aren’t an environmental activist, you sold fake medication to old people, and now you have to give a speech about how good of a person you were?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know how to bullshirt my way through this, I don’t even know what environmentalists do.”</p><p>“Raise money and protest to save the environment,” Chidi said. “I’m struggling to believe that I’m the only one who can help you. I have the worst stomachache.”</p><p>“Who cares about trees?” I asked. “There’s a lot of them.”</p><p>“I feel like I need to tell you why you’re wrong.”</p><p>“So tell me! What if, crazy idea, you can help me become a good person? Maybe I can earn my place here. Do you think you can help me?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” he said. “I would not only be lying to Michael but helping you lie to him. I’m going to need some time to think about this.”</p><p>“Okay,” I said. “In the meantime, I will be creating my speech about how much I love forking trees or whatever.”</p><p>“Eleanor, even you know that isn’t what an environmentalist does.”</p><p>“I have to talk for an hour, Chidi. Might as well have some fun with it.”</p><p>“I’ll help you with the speech,” he said. “But I don’t know if I can help you become a better person. I’ll sleep on it tonight, and maybe tomorrow night, and maybe every night for the rest of our eternal afterlife, but I will be thinking about it. And I will help you write this speech.”</p><p> </p><p>Michael stopped me outside the entrance to the—huge—house to give me a long rectangular box.</p><p>“Are you excited for tonight, best person?” he asked.</p><p>“Very,” I said with a smile. I opened up the box to see a sash. Needless to say, I’ve never earned a sash before. It bore the words “BEST PERSON” in big black letters. Fork my life.</p><p>“Don’t forget, your speech is to inspire the entire neighborhood, they’ll remember it fondly for the rest of their time in the afterlife.” Spectacular. The biggest speech of my life will literally never be forgotten and is entirely comprised of lies.</p><p>I walked inside where a goblet was immediately shoved into my hand. It was full of red wine. I took a sip. Heaven wine is heavenly, who would have thought? I drank the rest of the drink and set it on a nearby tray.</p><p>“Janet?” I asked.</p><p>“Hello.”</p><p>“Can you take me to the bar, please?”</p><p> </p><p>“And now, a speech from our best person, Eleanor Shellstrop!” Michael said, starting a bursting round of applause from the neighborhood.</p><p>I walked over to the microphone. I hoped that it wasn’t obvious how many glasses of that red wine I had. I looked over at Tahini or whatever her name was. The condescending bench looked envious of me. She also looked like a forking giraffe. I can only imagine that’s why she wasn’t top point-getter. I waved my fingers in her general direction.</p><p>“Hello, everyone. As Michael said, I’m Eleanor Shellstrop. I lived a happy life, one I would have described as good. Today I found out, it was good. It was good. I was amazed to hear that everything I did as an environmental activist had a positive impact on my afterlife. I didn’t do it for reward, I did it for the world.</p><p>“I think that Immanuel Kant said it best when he said, “he who is cruel to animals is a massive ashhole” or whatever it was. I don’t know, it had something to do with being kind to animals, but I couldn’t care less about that pig forker. Shellstrop out!” I handed the mic back over to Michael and walked over to Chris where I was standing. Chidi ran over to me.</p><p>“Eleanor, what was that?”</p><p>“I just said what everyone was thinking,” I said. “Immanuel Kant was a nerd.”</p><p>“Eleanor, Michael is going to get suspicious.”</p><p>“Michael isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, in case you hadn’t noticed,” I said. “He doesn’t know that I don’t belong here.”</p><p>“Speaking of you not belonging, Eleanor,” he said. “I’ve decided to help you. Not because I think you deserve it, but because I can’t stand by and do nothing to keep you from saying things like that in front of the entire neighborhood. Helping you is a good action, and how much of a hypocrite would I be if I didn’t help you?”</p><p>“That’s so great!” I said. “You should hang out at my house tomorrow. My soulmate will probably be at the gym. He’s kind of a rat. That’s the expression, right?”</p><p>“Gym rat, but yes.”</p><p>“I’ll call him a rat.”</p><p>“Okay, Eleanor. Let’s get you to bed.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chaos Sequence</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up and stretched my arms. I stood up and noticed something fly past my window. I looked out the window. There were pigs running through my yard toward the mansion, followed by a herd of giraffes. Something hit my window, and I looked down to see a wheel of cheese.</p><p>I ran out of my front door where Michael was running. “Michael, what is going on?”</p><p>“I don’t know!” he said. “This started happening a few minutes ago.”</p><p>“Is Ariana Grande playing?”</p><p>“I think so!” He pushed past me to run away from a pig. I turned around and saw Chidi standing there.</p><p>“Chidi, what is happening? Why are there pigs everywhere? And why is everyone wearing yellow and blue?”</p><p>“Eleanor, you aren’t.”</p><p>“Ex-squeeze me?” I looked down at my outfit. Sure enough, it was a regular, monochromatic outfit. “Oh, fork. Janelle?”</p><p>“It’s Janet.” Janet appeared behind Chidi.</p><p>“Janet, can I get some yellow and blue stripes, like you and Chidi?”</p><p>“Of course.” She held out her hands to hand me a pair of yellow and blue skinny jeans and a yellow and blue crop top.</p><p>“Thanks, babe. Chidi, I’m gonna go change.”</p><p>“Tahani and Tomas are asking everyone to meet out front of Louie’s Pizza for a town meeting,” he said. “I’ll see you there in two minutes?”</p><p>I ran into my house to change. After I was in the stripes, I left my house and ran towards a pool of cheese. Beyond the pool, Tahani had gathered most of the residents.</p><p>I slowed down and joined Chidi.</p><p>“Something is happening here,” Michael said to Tahani. “This is bigger than you. Something in this neighborhood isn’t perfect.” I looked over at Chidi.</p><p>“This is happening because of you, Eleanor,” he whispered.</p><p>“We don’t know that,” I whispered back. “Tahani is very condescending.”</p><p>“Eleanor, you called me Cheesy, now the neighborhood is covered in cheese. You called one of the greatest philosophers ever a pig-forker, now there is a pig trying to eat a giraffe.”</p><p>“I’ll admit, it doesn’t look great.”</p><p>Tahani walked in front of a trampled flower bed. “Hello, everyone. I’m Tahani Al-Jamil, and this is my soulmate, Tomas.”</p><p>“Tahani, I’ve got this,” Michael said.</p><p>“No, please, Michael. I’m very good at keeping people together in times of crisis.” When she said crisis, people around us started tittering.</p><p>“I have the biggest stomachache, Eleanor.” Chidi looked over at me with a pained look on his face. I took a deep breath.</p><p>“Tahani,” I said and walked over to the flower bed. “I’ve got this, babe. I’m sure you remember me from last night, I was the top point-getter. I said some things in my speech last night that I don’t feel great about, but I need you all to know that this will all be just fine.” I looked over at Chidi. He smiled at me, which made me feel a little bit better. I continued. “I will do my very best to hear all of your concerns after these events are over, which appears to be starting now.” I gestured to Tahani. Her dress was turning back into a light blue floral pattern.</p><p>“Thank goodness we have Eleanor,” Tahani said. “Eleanor will get us through this.” I felt a twinge in my stomach. At least it isn’t a full-blown Chidi stomachache. I patted Tahani’s shoulder and walked back over to stand next to Chidi.</p><p>“That was a good thing, Eleanor,” he said. “Maybe you can improve faster than I thought.”</p><p>“I just didn’t want you to have a stomachache,” I said. “I feel really bad about forcing all of this on you.”</p><p>“Let’s get started on our first good person class,” he said. He grabbed my shoulder and we walked together to my house. I turned to look back at Tahani. She definitely thinks she’s better than everyone else, but she’s kind of growing on me. Still a condescending bench, though. I turned back to Chidi. His clothes were turning back into his nerdy little sweater vest. I smiled.</p>
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